Pretty Hurts…..So Why Do We Let It?

The beauty world isn’t anyone’s friend.

It’s structured so that none of us will ever really attain the standards of beauty. Even the models we see in the magazines aren’t real.

pretty hurts 1

One minute you’re tall, blonde, blue eyed, skinny, big busted and labelled as gorgeous….the next….you need to be brunette, dark eyed and olive skinned with a rump like Kim Kardashian to be pretty.

None of us can ever win. The whole aim is that we’re always striving to be something that we aren’t, so we’ll always pay for someone or something to alter our appearance. Make-up. Weaves. Wigs. Sun beds. Skin bleaching. Butt job. Nose job. Boob job. Liposuction. Lip Fillers. Push Up Bras. Padded Knickers.

This industry is not there to celebrate and uplift us. But to make someone else rich off our insecurities.

Beauty is such a flawed commodity. We all know that beauty is subjective. Someone may look at me and think that I was very attractive…..someone else may look at me and think that I was a damn mess! So how can we let beauty be a metric of judgement when it’s perception varies so greatly from person to person? A dollar is always a dollar and a pound is always a pound…..yet a beautiful woman is not always a beautiful woman!

I think it’s a shame that as women, we grow up believing that beauty is the secret to life. You need to be beautiful to get that job. To get that husband. To make that money…..And we’re not afraid to fight other women over it. Rather than appreciate another woman’s beauty, we see her as a threat. So we’ll try to tear her down and drag her through the mud to make her appear less attractive to others.

We’re always striving for a perfection that doesn’t exist. And it’s making us miserable. It’s also dividing us up as women and turning us against each other. Team Skinny. Team Thick. Team Curvy. Team Weave. Team Natural. Team Light Skin. Team Dark Skin……Anyone else fucking sick of all this?

tyra split

The only antidote here is to stop looking at those glossy magazines and the hollywood movies for validation. We need to really look in the mirror, learn to love what we see and become our own beauty ideals. We need to challenge our insecurities and stop projecting them onto others…..calling another woman ugly won’t make us any prettier! (I had to steal that from Mean Girls….best line ever!).

Surely, instead of trying to achieve a thigh gap or learning how to twerk….we should be working towards becoming the very best version of ourselves? Whether it’s reaching the top of our careers….learning how to be a better friend /girlfriend /wife /mother /daughter….learning how to cook…..anything that makes us a better person than the one we were yesterday!

As much as I didn’t think too highly of Emma Watson’s speech at the UN, she did raise some very valid points. We do not live in an equal world and I can’t help but feel that pitting us against each other in the name of beauty just makes the situation even worse.

How can we ever stand together as sisters (of all backgrounds) if we’re encouraged to see each other as competition? We need to start tearing down these false “superior” and “inferior” constructions as we know for a fact that something subjective can not be objectively measured.

Let’s all gain some perspective and see that there’s more to life than being someone else’s definition of beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… why let someone else’s bear more significance than your own?


Lotsa Love,

pretty me 4

The Curly Cockney




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