5 Lessons I learned in 2015….My Quarter Life Crisis!

1. I Can Get Pretty Jealous…….And It’s Not Attractive!

There’s a stigma around jealousy and envy…..which is a bit of a paradox in this day and age, because social media encourages us to directly compare and compete with one another.

I will be the first to admit that I suffer from episodes of the green eyed monster!

Sometimes I’ll be scrolling through the ‘gram and I will see a girl with the most AMAZING abs and big booty combo. Or I’ll see another blogger gaining thousands of likes with a booming follower count!

What are my first thoughts?……

“Omg, that’s not hers! She’s clearly edited her picture”

“She clearly doesn’t have a job and just works out all day!” 

“She buys her likes/followers…her pictures aren’t THAT good”

This my friends is something I’ve had to work hard on to improve ALL year!

I have to ask myself….if I had 500,000 followers or a Nicki Minaj body, would I still be looking at these girls and criticising so hard?

Of course not! I would probably be showing a lot more sisterhood and praising these ladies on all of their evident hard work!

This shows that this jealousy and negativity is actually about my feelings towards myself and NOT the other girls. It’s rooted in feelings of my own inadequacies and fears, and seeing someone else be so successful in whatever way can remind me how I haven’t achieved the level of success that I want for myself.

These days, I choose to use the feelings of envy as motivation to work on myself.

If they can do it….why can’t I? 🙂

nicki minaj

2. Share Your Strengths, NOT Your Weaknesses

If I could go back in time to the 1st January 2015…..this would have been the first thing I would have screamed at my former self!

You can never truly know a person! Other people shouldn’t hear about your weaknesses and vulnerabilities….mostly because you can not trust what someone will do with this information!

We forget just how intimate sharing our low points and sad times really is.

Do your co-workers need to hear about how your hard work has repeatedly been ignored by your manager? Do they need to hear that you are underpaid for what you do?

Does everyone in your friendship circle need to hear about your relationship problems? That you caught your boyfriend texting another girl?

Although it can feel very freeing to vent and seek sympathy/empathy from others around you, you have to remember that a listening ear CAN be a running mouth….or worse!

Always show people your positive attributes. Not only will people see you as more fun to be around, it’s much safer to share your burdens with those you truly trust.

3. Those Who Love You Deserve More Energy Than Those Who Don’t

I really have been faced with some sticky situations this year.

There have been a few individuals who have really brought a lot of negative energy and self doubt into my life.

However, rather than blaming these individuals, I really do have to blame myself…..for paying too much time and attention to them!

Life is so short and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for any of us. You should take every opportunity that you can to spend it with those you love and really enjoy life!

The more time you spend around people who make you feel good about who you are, the better you will feel about yourself!

They say that laughter and hugs are the best healers…..so it just makes sense that the opposite will make us ill! You don’t need the depression and anxiety that comes with being around people who just don’t care or hold negative opinions about you.

Get out of that toxic job. Get out of that abusive relationship. Stop speaking to that “frenemy”……and spend an entire weekend with the person who fills you with joy!

me and harvey

4. What Is Meant For You Will Be Yours…..What Isn’t Won’t

I do believe in fate and destiny.

I have seen with my own eyes what happens when I push too hard for something that just wasn’t meant to be.

I get crazed and obsessive trying to secure something which I know isn’t right for me. I force myself to be something I’m not and I can’t keep up the façade. I run myself into the ground trying to achieve a goal which isn’t in line with my strengths or values.

For example, when I used to model, I had a dangerous relationship with food. I knew that I genetically didn’t have the desired body type to be a model, I was naturally thicker and stockier than all the other models….even when on a strict diet and exercise routine!

So I would do the craziest things such as running six miles a day, making myself sick if I’d eaten “too many calories” and limiting myself to only one meal a day. All in the hope of booking modelling jobs and fitting into a sample size six!

I lost years where I could have been happy and comfortable with my body….all while trying to attain something which was not going to work out for me anyway. And I knew that! I knew traditional modelling wasn’t meant for me…but I pushed myself anyway.

The point of this story….is that what is meant to be will be. So be patient, relax and continue to work hard! Just never see failure as your fault!

If something isn’t working…..don’t kill yourself trying to fix it. Move on and find the wonderful gifts that you ARE meant to receive in life!

5. There Is Only One You! You Are A 1 in 7,000,000,000 Kinda Girl (Or Boy)!

Sometimes it’s hard to stand out from the crowd.

Sometimes we compare ourselves to others…..and we get so lost and caught up in obsessing over how we match up to our competition.

The trouble is that we waste so much time and energy in doing so!

There IS ONLY ONE YOU. There is no other person in the world which has your exact genetic make up, your exact thought processes, your exact talents and your exact life experiences.

People will love you, like you, employ you, follow you and talk to you for who YOU are. So you need to make sure that you are the very best version of yourself that you can possibly be….

….and that only comes about by focusing on yourself and not concentrating on what others are doing!

We ALL have our own roles to play in this world! 🙂

 

What lessons have you all learned in 2015? Let me know in the comments below!

Lotsa Love,

me smiling

The Curly Cockney

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